Mother's Day.

I realized something a couple days ago. One year ago from today, we saw the unfamiliar plus+ sign on a pregnancy test. And I can't think of a better time to celebrate this Mother's Day weekend, in remembering one of the most blessed feelings that my heart has ever experienced. The day I truly felt the Lord bless me with my very own miracle. With His timing. In His own way.

I know that this weekend can be a sad time for those who feel a painful prick in their heart.
My heart is heavy today for the women who dream of becoming a mother and having a home full of tiny feet running around only to realize their dream won't play out the way they had hoped for. I think of you often. A new humility and sensitivity has entered my spirit when it comes to this subject. The struggle of loss and infertility is one that brings you to your knees while feeling utterly helpless. It provokes a faith and determination, through the pain and heartache, to try to make a dream become a beautiful reality. Which is why I am so comforted with the knowledge that the Lord offers His atonement to everyone. It is calming to my heart. Every part of my soul feels that the Lord is making the parenthood they will surely experience, whether it is in this life or in the next, become even that much sweeter by introducing them to the heartache early. Each of the anxiety and desperate pleas on their behalf instills a more beautiful and pure appreciation for the specialness that children bring into their lives. 

I was just thinking about the heartache I know I will feel in parenting Savannah as she grows up. Sometimes when I want to complain, I make my mind go to the painful hearts of those hurting. The love of a mother is a love that I have never experienced before. You love so much you ache. It awakens a new perspective. It is such a window into how our Heavenly Father loves us.

Unconditional.

Unimaginable.

Elizabeth Stone said, "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

Happy Mother's Day to all our Momma's

A gracious thank you to my two momma's and hubs for the beautiful gifts in celebrating my first Mother's Day. I'm so lucky to now have grandma moon and grammie crossley to spoil and love my baby girl. It's a beautiful cycle.

This comic couldn't be more fitting when I think of my own supermom and the amazing love and perseverance she maintained while raising me. You rock.

Yours truly, Me

4 Months.

4 month stats:

weight: 14.4 lbs (25%)
height: 26 inches (82%)
head: 16 inches (20%)

1. You rolled over for the first time! Sadly, I was out to lunch with my dear friend and got a phone call from your ecstatic daddy... you made him so proud. He had laid you onto the floor and you suddenly surprised him by quickly flipping over to your tummy! For the next few days, every time we laid you on your back you will twist your body towards the right and flip onto your hands and belly. 
2. Your roly-polyness has toned down since you realized that you hate to be on your tummy. If I'm not on the floor, entertaining you with books and colorful toys then you will fuss and fuss until you're off your tummy. 
3. You love to hold everything! Your little fingers will wrap around my hands or the bottle while I'm feeding you. A few nights ago, you were gripping your daddy's finger while we were all cuddling on our bed getting ready to nap together. He said, "This is all I've ever wanted from our baby ... for her to hold my finger!" He was soooo excited about that before you came to us. You'll hold onto your burp cloth while I'm burping you. You grab onto the toys while sleeping in your car seat. You grab onto my hair while I'm holding you (how I am not bald by now with all the chunks of hair you've managed to yank out is beyond me.)
4. Your arm movements have become much more controlled when you want to grab something. You're eyes will focus on something that you see in front of you while your arms stiffen up and move towards it. It is so fun to watch your learn and develop!
5. You really enjoy having me read books to you. Especially the cloth ones that I let you grab and squeeze and stuff into your mouth! And you even let me re-read the same few pages over and over.
6. I'm calling it right now, you are going to be a singer! You love to sing-scream when you're super excited. It's the cutest thing ever! Last Sunday during sacrament, your sweet little heart just couldn't help itself. You'll stomp one foot and let out an excited scream. And you couldn't stop. We took you outside to let your giddiness calm down and you became a little more calm and reverent. When we sat back down in the meetings, you went off again with excited yelling and stomping. Daddy lucked out had to take you out for the rest of the meeting. We are just so in love with you! We think you are so funny when you get into those screaming fits.
7. You love to chew and slobber on anything you can get your hands and mouth on! If it's in your hands, it will go straight to that mouth of yours!.. My shoulder, blankets, your fists and, as of lately, your single index finger. I sure hope those little teeth take their sweet time to bud! I melt every time you flash that gummy smile!
8. You still have a beautiful double chin. Your daddy likes to joke that it looks like a goiter. I'm not gonna lie, it kinda does! The insults really come out when it's bath time and we have to dig deep within your chubby rolls to dig out the the collected lint. Darling... enjoy it while it's still crazy cute!
9. You have become so flexible! During diaper changes, you love to grab your toesies with your hands and scream-hum until I'm finished.
10. You are fighting your schedule, baby girl. And I haven't been consistent with it either. You'll vary from taking 30 minute - 2 hour naps. It hasn't helped that we've all caught the same terrible cold and it's snot-inducing awfulness has lingered up until today. But you are the best night sleeper a momma could ask for! You usually sleep 10 hours a night; you are doing great with that! Thaaaaaank you, Hunnybuns. 

Your daddy and I love to watch you progress and learn new things! I can hardly believe that you are mine forever. I'm so blessed. And even though I might roll my eyes when you wake up for the 50th time before 4am when you're having an off night, I still think you're the best reason to wake up for. I wouldn't trade you for anything!

Yours truly, Me