Friday, December 16, 2011

Week 37: My Pregnancy Diary

Reaching the full-term milestone felt so good. There came a major sense of relief in knowing that she'll be relatively healthy if she decides to come early.
How Big is The Baby?
All of my pregnancy apps, books, and emails tell me what fruit/vegetable my baby resembles each week... well they've all officially given up. Either they are repeating themselves or they continue to compare her to a watermelon. So I really just think it's safe to say, at this point, she's BIG!

How I'm Changing?
I am GINORMOUS! Seriously, I can't believe how much my belly has popped within these last few weeks. Sometimes I forget just how big it is until i open a door straight into it or catch a glance of myself in our bathroom mirrors. Truly mind boggling how drastically the human body can change. 

For nearly 8 weeks, my belly was measuring as if I were 28 weeks. And then, 2 weeks ago, I measured like 32 weeks. And this past week I measured like 35 weeks! Throughout this entire time, we could see through the ultrasounds that little Savannah's weight was always ahead of the game. WEIRD. Her last ultrasound at 36 weeks showed her legs to be measuring nearly 4 weeks ahead of the rest of her body while weighing 6.5lbs! My bruised ribcage will have no problem confirming this.
How I'm Feeling?
The main issue right now is SLEEP. I am well aware that sleep will be at a premium once she makes her arrival and so I was really hoping to avoid entering mommy-hood as a sleep deprived zombie. The problem is, I'm having major pregnancy-induced insomnia, sinus trouble, and a ridiculous amount of urine output. Pleasant, I know. I'm sorry. Because of this, when I sleep I end up having to sleep with my mouth hanging wide open. It is insanely attractive, I assure you. Since I can only breathe through my mouth, after 30 minutes of sleep, I wake up completely dehydrated and scrambling for my trusty insulated water cup that I keep at my bedside. I then chug said water cup and make a trip to the ladies room. Thirty minutes later I get up now needing to pee again. Chug said water. At this point, the insomnia has kicked in and so has Savannah's playtime on my bladder.
See the cycle? Can't breathe. Open mouth. Excessively dry mouth. Chug water. Excessive urination. Savannah's playtime. Insomnia. Can't breathe...
It goes on all.night.long. Eventually by around 3:30 or so I think I just get so exhausted that I just pass out and sleep through the dehydration and bladder triggers. So needless to say, sleep is very minimal and interrupted and not the highlight of my day. Beyond that, there are a few other symptoms that have me feeling like this third trimester is very reminiscent of the first one. The morning sickness is back with it's full force and leaves me with tiny broken blood vessels on my face. My fatigue will reach it's maximum when I try to bake a meal or run errands for too long, while also leaving my lower back hating me for the rest of the evening.
As of lately, my sweet amc has had to have a few heart-to-heart talks with me about relaxing my body and mind. I have felt the nesting surge come and I don't think I have handled it very well. I have to be honest here. A few weeks ago, I realized that I was beginning to feel something else. Scared. I had gotten to this point of pregnancy where I'm suddenly thinking things like "holy crap I'm seriously having a baby." You would think it wouldn't take 9 months to realize this but I had to cut myself some slack and understand that this resurgence of anxiety is normal towards the very end.
I have done a lot of research and read quite a few books and am no longer worried about childbirth or labor anymore--I feel totally ready (or as ready as I can be) for the process. It's more of what happens afterwards...
I'm going to have a baby. And then I'll take her home. And no one is going to tell me what to do next. I guess my worries weren't focused on having the baby but more about being a parent. Someday this baby will be five years old. I can't even wrap my head around that right now.
I'm doing my best to soak up these last few weeks, and feeling a bit more emotional that this part of the journey is coming to an end. Despite the sickness and the aches, and all the other strange things that accompany pregnancy, I have really really loved being pregnant. Often times, during my insomnia moments, I'll find myself in tears when I imagine the moment that Savannah will arrive into our arms. My heart feels touched at the miracle of developing a child within me. It's difficult to put into words the gratitude that I feel to be a part of bringing a baby girl into this world. Inviting her into the family that Aaron and I have built here together. I feel blessed for having a Savior that allows families to be together eternally.
I know all of the changes will be for the better, and I know there will be good days and there will be hard days. As the end draws closer and closer, I am becoming very aware that my world is going to change in incredible ways. I have watched this video a few times this week and have cried my way through it each time.

My favorites are "it's okay to be scared" and "you are the expert." And when I was scared, I was really just scared of the wondering and the what if's. Amc helped re-focus me into putting all of that energy into giving our little girl the best life we can give her.
What I'm working on most these days is just feeling mentally and emotionally prepared now. Doing yoga, reading pregnancy related books, and just generally trying to feel really peaceful and calm going into this final process. As a naturally anxious person, my instincts are to worry and obsess over details, but I've been working really hard these past few months to overcome all of that and simply live in the moment as it happens. I can honestly say that I feel more calm and excited than I do nervous or scared.
More nursery progress bit by bit, and I should have a final nursery update in the next week to share with ya'll! I am so excited!
Odds and Ends:
Total weight gained: 25 pounds
Gestational age: 37w 5d
Doctor appointment news: 1/2 cm dilated
Items washed: 0-6 month clothes and sheets
Signs of labor: zero
Maternity photos: Didn't they turn out fabulously?! Check out her site HERE
Yours truly, Me